Thursday, December 14, 2017
The sweet spot
Years ago, I came across something beautiful that Heather Plett had written. I downloaded a free PDF from her website called "A Path to Connection" and followed her blog. I read some of the e-booklet, but never completed it. However, I did keep it on my desktop thinking "one day" I'll get to it. She went on to write a ground breaking post about "holding space" which went viral. Being fully present for people, especially when they are in sorrow, struck a chord with many, many people. She was an early voice I was hearing about wanting more for my life, and living more fully.
A week or so ago, I opened that PDF and sat here, sipping tea, and reading through it, when I came upon the diagram above. It spoke VOLUMES to me. We always hear about the importance of balance in our lives, and how if one area is out of balance, it throws everything off. Well, I am here to tell you, it's so very true. My area that was fully not balanced was one of 'self.' Granted, I've done a heap of work over the past 2 years in the area of "others," but that "self" piece of the equation was still not in balance. I've consciously let go of needing to "take care of and please" to my detriment, and it's felt amazing to understand finally WHY I felt the need to go overboard in that area. I needed to feel safe and loved, period. That became my way. But, learning to give myself that love was not yet clear to me. The remnants of not being 'enough' were still very implanted in my way of being. I was still needing to find that love, safety, acceptance, and feeling of no judgment externally. Then, for two weeks, it was not available to me externally.
It was only then, that I had to look in the mirror, into the eyes of my own soul, and find the way to say to ME, "When I look at you, I feel loved, I feel safe, I feel heard, I feel not judged... I feel I am home." The tears flowed and flowed, as I came to the realization of how much I'd grown in the capacity to love ME. All of me. But, especially this body I am wrapped up in. The vessel that contains my spirit. I now can stand in front of the mirror and gaze upon my naked self and marvel at how beautiful I am, how perfectly made I am, how ENOUGH I am.
We go through our lives, seeking and searching to feel these things, and sadly, we most often look for someone to be that mirror for us. We seek out and draw energy to us that will give us that missing thread. But, when we have to find those things externally, we will always be living out of balance with our soul. People will say, "He/she completes me." Yeah, well, it may sound romantic, but what it actually means is that you have not yet learned that you don't need to be 'completed' by anyone or anything. You are enough. You always have been. The desperation to have that external validation makes people stay in relationships that are not nourishing or fulfilling otherwise, because the fear of not feeling adequate keeps them from moving forward in their journey to wholeness.
And, here is the funny thing... once you DO get to that place of balance, the universe starts opening doors that were never there before. Suddenly, things seem utterly clear, when before they were cloudy. Experiences and opportunities start coming to support our continuing to grow in ways we never imagined. And utter peace settles in your soul. Pure knowing. Pure joy. You are finally home. The sweet spot.
Created by Jayne at 9:00 AM