Well now, like my friend Beth, who encouraged this little October project, I spent a good amount of time last night contemplating what moments I noticed during the day. Rather, I spent a good amount of time thinking of a "topic" to write about today. So, pretty obvious I was not "in the moment" much yesterday. Didn't I notice anything? No, not as easy as it seems, is it Beth?
What I did notice, looking back through the lens of today, is that I have a hard time not being "busy." I tend to need to plan my day out so that I have things to accomplish. I planned to start staining the deck railing yesterday when I got home from taking Sam to school. But, as I headed home, it started drizzling. Just enough to wet everything. I was annoyed that my 'plans' had been thwarted, but more than that, I then started scrambling for something to do. Something to accomplish. Something to make myself useful. There was almost an urgency to 'find something to do' in my brain. What is it in me that has to feel productive and useful? What is scary about simply taking the time to do nothing? Taking a day to just sit, read, or be quiet? Nothing to do. Nothing to accomplish, no where to go, just to be. No one is judging me, but me. You'd think that now that I've incorporated daily meditation into my life, that I'd be more able to relax when plans change and I don't have anything pressing to do. What does the busyness hide? What does my psyche tell me about not accomplishing something each and every moment? That is what I noticed, and what may need a wee bit more pondering in my life.