In the Sweet By and By

At church on Sunday, two of our very talented choir members performed this lovely arrangement of In the Sweet By and By. I had set up the digital recorder and dual channel microphone system on a step to the left of where they were performing by the altar rail. So, imagine my cringing when, during the offertory and their playing, members of the church came up the aisle carrying all the paper goods we had collected for the month to go to a home for disabled adults. Bags and bags of crinkly plastic holding tissues, paper towels, napkins, and toilet tissue were proudly brought forth. ACK!!! The microphones were on and the playing continued. I just knew that once I loaded it onto the computer, all I would hear would be the crackle of plastic bags. But, lo and behold, I suppose because the microphones were so close to the instruments, there was only the sweet sound of violin and harp, offering up this beautiful arrangement. And, I smiled.

Daddy showing baby the ropes

My sissy sent along this wonderful photo she got of a male Red-bellied Woodpecker who brought his baby to the feeder to show him how to get some dinner! I've never seen the Red-bellied babies! So sweet!

Singing with a smile

Our choir has done this anthem before, but this time I was able to record it on a new recorder/dual channel microphone system and the sound was so much more rich and blended! I love the feeling of this song, Take Me To Higher Ground... so strong and spiritual, and hope you enjoy it!

Stunned Sharpie

We had quite a little storm roar though here yesterday afternoon with very high winds. We lost power for 11 hours and Sam was beside himself (but that's another show, as Oprah says). As we were assessing for damage in the yard and garden, husband saw this bird in the street down in the cul-de-sac. I grabbed the binocs and saw that it was a Sharp-shinned Hawk! He seemed a bit dazed, so I was not sure if the wind had blown him around a bit with the storm or what. I watched him stand there, soaked and hopping around a bit before finally moving towards the trees. It's so rare to get to see one for any length of time, so I was happy to get a few decent frames.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there... both those who've fathered children, and those who mentor and inspire the young people in their lives!

Garden addition

My sissy came over yesterday to fertilize my garden for me and to help me prune/dead head things, she being my garden guru. One of the things we later discussed was the bench being in the bed. We've planted so many things that not only was it blocking the view, but every time you tried to sit on it, it sank deeper in the mulch. So, she suggested moving it to the concrete by the butterfly bush in the back and adding a birdbath! So, off to Lowe's I went to get this great green birdbath, but I knew I needed something to plant around it.

I had lots of purple on that side, so I decided to add more yellow/gold for contrast on that side and found these gorgeous Black-eyed Susan's below which were simply perfect. Aren't they just glorious?

I also moved some sweet garden stones a friend made to put at the base of the birdbath, and picked up a pretty Shasta Daisy to add some white coolness to the left side. I found the "Prism Red" Stokes hummingbird feeder and moved a shepherd's hook to hang it on. All in all, a perfect addition to my oasis I think.

Women, Food, and God

When I heard about this book from my dear friend Martha, I immediately downloaded it to my Kindle. I am almost through it now, and boy, has it resonated with me. As I've read through it, I highlighted certain passages that I wanted to share.

"Compulsive eating is a way we distance ourselves from the way things are when they are not how we want them to be."

"When we are bowled over by grief and our response is to eat a pizza, we halt our ability to move through the grief as well as our confidence that it won't destroy us. If you don't allow a feeling to begin, you also don't let it end."

"I needed to prove to myself that what I wanted most was not forbidden, but what I didn't understand was that I didn't want the cookies; I wanted the way being allowed to have them made me feel: welcomed, deserving, adored."

"We want to be thin because thinness is the purported currency of happiness and peace and contentment in our time. And although that currency is a lie - the tabloids are filled with miserable skinny celebrities - most systems of weight loss fail because they don't live up to their promise: weight loss does not make people happy. Or peaceful. Or content. Being thin does not address the emptiness that has no shape or weight or name. Even a wildly successful diet is a colossal failure because inside the new body is the same sinking heart. Spiritual hunger can never be solved on the physical level."

(When faced with eating only one Hersey Kiss) "One person said, "One is enough but when I think about all the other ones in the bag, I feel as if I am missing so much. As if big love is waiting for me and by eating just one, I am turning it down." We both knew that what she was saying was not literally true. That if she ate the whole bag, she'd be missing not love but any semblance of feeling well. Still, her beliefs about deprivation and having enough were so laminated onto food that unless she was willing to be curious about what food was representing, she'd continue to believe that a bag of Hersey Kisses held the way to the promised land."

"When you look at the world through shattered lenses, the world looks shattered. When you eat a particular way because you believe that you are wrong if you don't, freedom isn't free. When you are still bound by beliefs about good and bad, it doesn't matter what you eat or what you weigh -- you are still flailing around in the obsession. You are still paying for taking up space in pounds of flesh. Unless you slow down, unless you are actually interested in the beliefs and the needs you are piling on top of the food, you continue to live in a limbo world in which the taste of food is all you know of heaven and the size of your thighs is all you know of hell. But it doesn't have to be this way. The real holiness is not in what you achieve or eat or weigh. There is something better than endlessly pushing the boulder of obsession up the mountain: putting it down. And if you are willing to refrain from dieting and needing an instant solution, and if you want to use your relationship with food as the unexpected path, you will discover that God has been here all along. In the sorrow of every ending, in the rapture of every beginning. In the noise and in the stillness, in the upheavals and in the rafts of peace. In each moment of kindness you lavish upon your breaking heart or the size of your thighs, with each breath you take -- God has been here. She is you."

When I, back in 2000, realized that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of being sick and tired of weight being an issue in my life, I truly started owning that it was never about the food, but the way I USED the food as my drug of choice. I started examining WHY I used food the way I did, and in the process found myself. I stopped being the "go along to get along" girl. I started reclaiming my own inner power that I so voluntarily relinquished to the world, and found a person I really liked underneath. She has evolved over these past 11 years, and the weight has stayed off, but there is still the fear and the struggle of being "one Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll away" from being back at the bottom of the mountain again. I am tired and weary of living in the constant fear that food will again call to me and I will listen. So, this book could not have come to me at a better time. Thank you so much Martha. I am really going to be delving deep into the Eating Guidelines Geneen offers as a path to being free.... finally free.

In and around the garden

The garden area is really starting to flourish now, though the heat and dry conditions have been a challenge. You can see the male Bluebird feeding in the background nestbox. Their second brood of six will fledge soon.

A big bumble enjoying the blooming Chaste Tree.

The first Question Mark Butterfly I've seen on Chickadee!

The Lantana is blooming like crazy.

A Goldfinch enjoys some seed from the Black-eyed Susan.

My first butterfly visitor this season, a beautiful Great Spangled Fritillary.

Peace Like a River

My sweet friend Beth provided the hat tip to this harmonious trio called Mad Agnes*. I'd never heard of them, but have thoroughly enjoyed listening to songs I've downloaded from iTunes. In addition to Peace Like a River, check out Let This Be My Prayer and It's Your Life.... two more of my favorites.

*Please let me assure everyone I have no personal interest in Mad Agnes, know none of the members, and will not benefit from recommending them except for the sheer joy I get in sharing beautiful music (grin).*

First butterflies of the new season

The garden is starting to really be in bloom now, and I am finally starting to see butterflies! The beautiful Great Spangled Fritillary came by and he was HUGE! He really enjoyed the coneflower. I was surprised to see the visitor below, as they are typically not nectaring butterflies. This Question Mark butterfly was hanging out on the mulch. Might have found some sort of fungus it found tasty? I am looking so forward to all the visitors I'll have now that I've planted so many host plants and favorite nectar providing plants for them.

Walking Alone

At church last Sunday, one of our choir members was offering up one of his own compositions as our communion anthem. He wrote both the words and the music, and had asked one of our very talented altos to sing it as he played. They practiced before the service and it was gorgeous. The piece was written with his dad in mind, and so had even more special meaning for him. We got to the point in the service where it was time for them to perform the song, and Bob sat down at the piano. I could tell he was a bit nervous, but that's to be expected when you are sharing something so personal for the first time in public. I had patted him on the back just before they started to let him know we were all there supporting him. As he started playing, and Sharon started singing, it was magical. Then, as he started into the second line of the music, I saw his hands start to tremor. The more he played, the more they started shaking, until he simply had to stop playing. He started apologizing, and we all just told him it was no big deal, to take a deep breath, and start again. He tried and he tried, but the adrenaline was coursing through him, and his hands had a mind of their own. Finally, he had to stand up and walk away from the piano. Our organist, bless her heart, simply got up, came around to the piano, sat down, and started playing a piece she'd never seen. Sharon started singing and sang deeply from her heart, and it was beautiful. Even more beautiful.

I looked over to see Bob sitting with his face in his hands, looking at the floor. At that moment, we all got a lesson in pure humility and love. Everyone rallied around him, told him it was OK, and that we've all been there at one point or another in our lives. We are all so very human. To witness others in their most vulnerable and frail moments makes us all realize our capacity to show love and grace. At that moment, Bob was surely not Walking Alone.

Time to eat again

Remember my busy mom bluebird who was building a nest in this house back on May 8th? Well, now she and her hubby are busy feeding six new hatchlings! The resident territorial Mockingbird has been giving them a really hard time as he's chosen to perch on top of their home. You can see the "gifts" he's left behind. But, true to form, these two have still somehow managed to keep feeding their brood by having the male distract him in a chase while mom flies in to get feeding done. It's been comical to watch them outsmart him! Last night I was down there in the garden when they both showed up to perch on the house with offerings for dinner.