Case of the uninvited guest

I was sitting here last night finishing up a conversation with my mom, when my call waiting beeped. We said our goodbyes and I answered the phone. I heard an almost hysterical voice, "Jayne? Oh my! I need help!" It was Shirley, my neighbor across the street, who was back in town to check on things at their house as her husband took another job further south of here and they are trying to sell the house. "What's wrong Shirley?" I gently asked. "There's a BIRD in my house Jayne! Can you help me?" "There's a bird in your house?" "Yes, I got home, and this thing is flying around all in my house!" "I'll be right over," I said with amusement.

So, I went to the garage and got the pool net on the extension pole and headed across the street. She was in the front door with a broom in her hand, a frantic and rather petrified look on her face. "I can't imagine HOW it got in here. Maybe when the Realtor or my cleaning gal opened the door earlier today, it flew in, but I can't make it leave!" I wanted to quip, "Did you ask nicely?" but didn't want to further upset her.

I asked her where it was and she pointed towards the dining room. There on her buffet, beside a nice looking leafy arrangement in which to hide, was a very confused, and probably just as petrified female house finch. It looked at me and chirped as if to say, "Tell the crazy lady to put the broom down and quit chasing me please." I started talking to her, and trying to remain calm as I approached her. She took off towards the great room and then flew into the kitchen to again find whatever artificial arrangement over the cabinets in which she could seek shelter. I stopped and thought. There was a small hallway off the kitchen which led out to the garage. I had Shirley open all the doors and then softly approached her again and tried to get her to head towards the garage. Success! She went to the hall area just outside the garage door which was now open. I stayed in the kitchen leading into the short hall so she would not come back my way, and she finally saw her escape route into the garage. Whew! Then as Shirley shut the kitchen door with a squeal, I went into the garage to open the doors and help her finally bring and end to what had to be a traumatic experience for her. She was one smart finch who, thankfully, finally headed out of the garage for her freedom.

My neighbor thanked me profusely, and told me she was simply frightened beyond belief when she saw "that thing" in her house. I just smiled and was glad she found someone who loves birds and was able to get the uninvited guest to leave. (OK, so then I did go home and laugh hysterically at the sight of her chasing a finch around her house with a broom.)

Sam's Song

My buddy had another very bumpy day yesterday. We know better and we are always contrite. We are immediately apologetic, but still... the moment takes over, and we don't think before acting out our anger. We've lost our computer until the weekend. My heart hurts. I want to crawl inside his head.... to know, to understand.

I found this wonderful poem my sister wrote back in 2003.
And so today is another day. Onward we'll go...

Sam's Song

He sits there engrossed, the video plays
sometimes I think he could sit there for days
and never notice the world's going by
he's not like the others, I'm wondering why.

A beautiful boy with silken blonde hair
A cherub-like face, he hasn't a care.
Physically perfect, no flaw to be found
Pink rosebud lips utter rarely a sound.

Now twenty four months and he doesn't chat
Experts determine the reasons for that.
A word, which is foreign to me, is then spoken
Autism, they say, and my heart is now broken.

What will we do now? Is he able to learn?
This autistic road, full of cruel twists and turns
leads us slowly along, ever seeking, exploring
determined to get the best help, we keep going.

And find it, we do, and it fills us with joy
for now we are able to teach our sweet boy.
He grows and he learns, and he is quite smart
His joy and his true love of life fill my heart.

These days, he's discovered that he loves to sing
His voice fills the house, such a beautiful thing.
And I swell with great pride as I sing along
to the glorious tune that is only Sam's song.

Quotable

As I was reading More magazine, which is recycled to me by my beautiful mother each month, I came across a wonderful quote that made me laugh out loud. The magazine had asked several "over 40" notable women what was on their minds. Number 10 for Pam Grier said,

"Michael Moore's documentary Sicko should be screened in every church, school, and VA hospital. All women should unite to fix the health care system and run this country right! Common sense is an ovarian characteristic."

Screen cleaner

Since I really don't feel like whining today, I'll just share this cute screen cleaner we received from my husband's Aunt Nancy. Enjoy!

Purple surprises

As I was outside yesterday afternoon adding a bit of Zick dough to my feeder cup, I noticed a flash of color to my right in the tree line. Upon closer inspection, lo and behold, could it be? Grape hyacinths? How did they get there?

Then I remembered.... I emptied some potting soil from my back porch pots after the spring mix I'd planted all died out. Must have left the bulbs for these in the soil. So, they simply bloomed where they were planted. I love unexpected surprises. Especially in the cold of February.

Wasted, wasted weekend

I am still trying to get over this week long head cold. My nose has been blown this morning more times than I care to count. Now, husband is sick too. He got the "scratchy throat" on Friday evening, and his cold is full blown at this point. He was up and down all night last night coughing and generally feeling horrible. So, I was awake on and off too... ugh. At one point, I vaguely remember being sort of, partially awake searching for something to soothe his cough in the bathroom cabinet. But, then again, maybe I was dreaming?

My right arm was feeling better by yesterday afternoon, after continuing the 800mg doses of ibuprofen, trying to do everything left handed, and applying some heat now that the swelling has diminished. But, last night in my sleep, I kept waking up with it tucked under my pillow, hurting, and had to reposition to my back. So, this morning, it is aching again. A deep ache, like toothache. No sharp pains, but it is letting me know it's not happy.

So as not to fully focus on the fact that it's been a very wasted weekend of illness, I saw this wonderful story in the paper this morning, and so I shall share the link of The Passion Flower Project documenting dancer Ann Law's celebration of her victory over breast cancer by having a tattoo of a passion flower placed on her chest. We should all embrace life and the gifts we are given, so I shall stop moaning about my nose blowing and arm pain.

The answer is YES

The commercials are enough to drive you batty, but yes, it really DOES work!

Thanks to my mom and dad who rubbed my arm down with it before I went to work yesterday, where, due to both my week long head cold and hurt arm, I lasted all of three hours before going home to ice it down again and rest it completely.

My dad even went to the drugstore to buy me more of it to use until my arm is feeling better. (Thanks for the love.) Today, I can tell it's healing. I'll just keep taking it easy.

Ouchie!

Yesterday at work, we were moving a rather large patient from his bed to the HBO stretcher. We had two people on either side of him, one at his feet, and I got at the head of the bed to support his head. I had my hands under his head and neck, waiting for the 1-2-3 pull over signal. I don't know if it was because he was on a slide board, and he went faster than I thought he would, or whether I stopped before the momentum of the pull to the right was complete, but as soon as we got him over, I felt it immediately. In my right deltoid muscle... ouch!

At first it caught me off guard, as I couldn't figure out why it was hurting like it was. I shook my right arm out expecting it to just go away, but it didn't. It was then I realized that I'd truly injured my arm. It was throbbing. I could not turn it out to the right without considerable discomfort. Just great. I didn't feel as if I'd torn anything down by the shoulder joint, but instead maybe sustained a good strain to the muscle. I took a whopping dose of ibuprofen, guarded it the rest of the day, and spent all afternoon once I got home, with it iced down.

This morning, when I got up, it felt marginally better, but is still so tender that I find myself wincing when I turn it in certain positions. Another smack in the face that I am not bullet-proof and young any longer. What I think my almost 46 year old body should be able to do, and what I actually can tolerate are two different things. Please pray it is just a bad sprain. I will guard it gingerly today and keep taking the ibuprofen in hopes that the pain and discomfort fades, along with my notions of being superwoman.

So, can you wait?

Deferred/Delayed gratification From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: "Deferred gratification or delayed gratification is the ability to wait in order to obtain something that one wants. This ability is usually considered to be a personality trait which is important for life success. Daniel Goleman has suggested that it is an important component of emotional intelligence. People who lack this trait are said to need instant gratification and may suffer from poor impulse control. Psychoanalysts have argued that people with poor impulse control suffer from "weak ego boundaries". The term comes from Sigmund Freud's theory of personality where the id is the pleasure principle, the superego is the morality principle, and the ego is the reality principle. The ego's job is to satisfy the needs of the id while respecting other people's needs. According to this theory, a person who is unable to delay gratification may possess an unbalanced id that the ego and superego are unable to control."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I absolutely LOVE to have things to look forward to. I like knowing that I am counting down the days. I was never one of those kids who begged and begged to open my Christmas presents early. I don't like doing things before it is time to do them. In years past, when we had to "do" Christmas a week or so early due to everyone's schedules, it truthfully made me crazy. I can delay gratification because I LOVE anticipation.

Husband? Not so much. He hates surprises, wants his presents early, will badger and badger me to give them to him, or to just give him hints so he already knows what he's getting. Therefore, my lesson for him is driving him crazy. Our conversation last week:

Husband: "Uh, I may need to give you your birthday presents early."
Me: "I don't want them early."
Husband: "But, you will have to be home when UPS comes to sign for one of them, and you'll know by the boxes what may be in the other ones."
Me: "So? I still don't want them early. I want them on my birthday."
Husband: "Are you sure? I mean, they'll be here and all."
Me: "Yep, I'm sure. My birthday is not until March. You'll just have to wait." (Inside I am giggling as I know this makes him absolutely nuts.)

So, on Monday, the one I had to sign for came. In an Amazon box. So? Tells me nothing. On Tuesday, another one came in the mailbox. I didn't read the return address. Wednesday another one came by UPS. I picked it up, saw his name on the label and did not look any further. I could easily check his email folder for receipts, or look at the credit card statement, but of course, I won't. (Yes, I am loving this.)

So, when he asked me what I did with them initially, I told him, "I hid them. You know, to keep you from trying to give them to me early." Tee hee hee. Not really. They are in the bedroom, sitting there stacked up under a side table, staring at the both of us. Am I tempted? Not in the least bit. Husband? May end up with some new gray hair.

After... and after!

When we moved in August of 2006, I went through everything in the garage before packing it all up to move to another location. I threw away bunches and oodles of old stuff. When the movers took boxes to husband's garage downstairs, they were the last thing on my list to unpack. Adding to that, we started finishing out the basement and adding a bathroom (the wall you see behind the shelving unit to the far left), and so getting down there to unpack and organize was going to only commence once that was all finished. Consequently, we had boxes stacked everyplace, and sadly, it remained that way, long after the basement was all done.


Ha! That is, until this past weekend! I mustered up the bravery to head down there and attack the last place we'd never organized or unpacked! We got the Rubbermaid shelving unit and the storage cabinets several months ago, but they were cast off to the side until all the boxes were retrieved from against the wall and under the big wood shelves (already here when we moved in).


I unpacked ALL those boxes and organized everything into the shelving unit and in the cabinets. I put all the brooms, rakes, etc, in a separate caddy on the other side of the garage, AND, just to make husband think I further hung the moon, got the Shop Vac out and vacuumed the entire area as well. I wish I had some "before" photos just so I could feel even more smug about how good it felt to finally mark this off my "to do before I die" list. Yay me!!!!!

Nugget of wisdom

I'm finishing up a book called Not Even Wrong: Adventures in Autism by Paul Collins. It's not that often anymore that I read books about autism, but for some reason I ordered this one months ago, and just now got around to reading it.

Last night, one passage made me put the book down, smile, and read it again. The one common thing about learning to live with autism is getting to the point where you are past wanting your child to just "fit in" with peers. You finally surrender to embrace that "normal" is relative, and that they are who God made them to be. In the book, he relates a story about a friend who was determined their child would be mainstreamed into a regular education curriculum, and yet the child was miserable...

"Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you are destroying the peg. What if normal school makes you abnormally miserable? And what if growing up into normal society makes you a miserable adult? Is that success? Is that normal? Do you want to be in the mainstream if it's going to drown you?"

I vividly remember when a dear friend who is a counselor, and whose wisdom I fully relied on so many times for my sanity, looked at me dead in the eye as I sobbed about Sam's not being able to progress to a regular ed first grade. She said, "Jayne, if you keep placing him in an environment where he can't be successful, he's constantly frustrated, and his self-esteem suffers, whose needs are you serving?" After that session, it was hard to look in the mirror and admit that it was my own fear of his being judged that was getting in the way of my seeing who is was and what he needed to succeed. Indeed, a turning point, and a breakthrough. I love how one little nugget like that changes everything.

Coop comes to breakfast

Yesterday, we were leisurely reading the Sunday paper, and enjoying seeing all the birds at the feeder when out of the corner of my eye, I saw the quick dispersion. In an instant, he swooped in from the left side of the feeder area and claimed his breakfast. I jumped for the camera as I had seen him land in the tree line behind the house with his prize, though I could not tell what it was. The wind was whipping and the lighting was low, but I managed one decent view of him enjoying what was really a snack for him... an unlucky goldfinch. He's one lightning fast dude, is he not?

Just the coolest thing ever

Ho-ly Cow! Oh, the benefits of being married to a true tech ho'! Husband started telling me about the new "Apple TV" and once I saw all it's features, I was fully on board. So, it's what we got one another for our anniversary! It came on Friday and he got it all set up. Amazing!!!!

The unit is the size of a small router, and when it wirelessly syncs to your computer, magic happens! You can access all your photos (even in Flickr), music, and even YouTube on your TV. I've created folders with just my bird photos and it will create a slide show which you can put to any music you have in iTunes. It's like having a humongo new sound system now. All our music on iTunes coming through the surround sound speakers for our TV. And you can rent movies from iTunes now, so we can watch them, not on the computer, but on the big TV! Turn out the lights and get the popcorn! No need for Netflix or Blockbuster baby! Just scroll through the selections, then download what you want to watch. You can also access all the podcasts on iTunes and so yesterday as I washed dishes, I listened to This Birding Life with Bill Thompson, III which just happened to be his beautiful bride Julie Zickefoose reading a story from Letters From Eden. I am in heaven.

The people at Apple, as usual, have outdone themselves! This is just the coolest thing ever!!

790 posts....

That's how many posts I went through... 790 total.

This blog started as a way to rekindle my creativity, and to share my life as lived through grace which sustains me. It runs the gambit from faith, to birds, to living with autism. Because of that, I decided to finally categorize the many posts about Sam, my now 15 year old with autism. I've put the link to the posts about him since I started this journey in 2006 along with the bird posts on my sidebar so they can be easily accessed.

Here he is with his latest find. A version of The Little Engine That Could he did not have. "Mom, this one is illustrated by Ruth Sanderson." Oh yes, we have ALL the other editions, but we did not have THIS one. He found it on eBay and was thrilled beyond measure that it finally arrived yesterday.

Sort of like how I feel most of the time...."I think I can, I think I can...." He is my little engine who could, and I am blessed beyond measure.

Sam-ism

Sam has had a rough week. It started with a mild head cold, but he was not feeling so badly that he could not go to school. On Tuesday, I had to pick him up a bit early as his nose was like a faucet and was getting in the way of his being able to concentrate on much else. So, I got him home, gave him some Sudafed and he slept well that night. On Wednesday morning, he was feeling sleepy, but the stuffiness was decreased and on to school he went.

I got a call in the morning that he had gotten upset with Ms E, his wonderful parapro, and lashed out at her. She handed her phone to me so I could talk with him, and he was, of course, immediately contrite and apologetic. He did fine for the remainder of the day, but when I picked him up, we had a long talk about it on the drive home. I told him that there were always consequences for behaviors, and because he had chosen to do what he did, he was losing being able to have his Funfetti cake for Valentine's Day. He loves the Funfetti cake with vanilla frosting, and we have made several themed holiday cakes over the years. Several weeks ago, he asked me if we could make a "Valentines Funfetti cake with red and pink sprinkles" to celebrate. He was so looking forward to it. However, I explained to him that consequences are necessary in order for us to learn from our mistakes. He was oh, so sad that he'd lost his cake. Thank goodness his economy is so easily impacted. :c)

We were almost home, and he'd been very quietly sad and sulking over the fact that there would be no Valentine Funfetti cake. He turned to me and said, "I know mom! We'll have a St. Patrick's Day Funfetti cake with green sprinkles!" Always thinking, my sweet guy. I don't guess I've ever made a cake to celebrate St. Patrick's Day, but hey, you gotta give a guy credit where credit is due. I told him indeed we could.... if he has some good weeks ahead.

Happy hearts!

~~~~ Happy Valentine's Day ~~~~
from my table
to you!

Wish everyone could appreciate the aroma of this hyacinth!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO's
to all my blog friends!

Let Go, Let God

(photo taken in Ormond Beach, FL in 2004)

When you can't find your direction, and your heart won't guide you home,
Let go, and let God.

When your dreams are broken in the dust, and you've lost the will to trust,
Let go, and let God.

Let the signs remind you,
we are passengers.

Let the signs remind you,
to surrender,
to surrender.

When faith's a dying fire, and there's no spark to feed the flame,
Let go, and let God.

When your courage fails you, and the well of hope runs dry,
Let go, and let God.

Let the signs remind you,
we are passengers.

Let the signs remind you,
to surrender,
to surrender. (repeat refrain)

Let go, and let God
Let go, and let God
Let go...... and let God.

-----------
Yet another favorite song on the Grace and Gratitude CD by Olivia Newton-John

Leucistic Tufted Titmouse

Lately, I've been seeing postings on blogs about albino or leucistic birds. Back in 1995, my sister had this unique visitor to her yard for a week. We did not have digital cameras then, and so the image was captured with a 35mm, but from what we could tell, this was a leucistic Titmouse. I dug up the photos the other day to look at them again, and wanted to try and share one. This is a "picture of a picture" so the clarity is not that great, but you can see him best here. We had another photo where you could clearly see the tuft on his head, but I could not find it. We watched him for a week and then we never saw him again.

Grace and Gratitude

This little blog land has blessed me in so very many ways. This past week, my lovely friend Susan gifted me this CD at iTunes. She had written about it on her beautiful blog, and I would have downloaded it had she not surprised me with it first. I've never been a huge ONJ fan, but this CD called Grace and Gratitude is simply magical. When you read the story of how it came to be, it's no wonder that she decided to create something that spoke to the body, mind, and spirit during her battle with breast cancer. I have been listening to it non stop, and it has raised my vibe considerably, during a week when I needed it most. Isn't it beautiful how that happens? You need it, and the universe brings it to you via a friend. Thank you so much Susan. You will never know how much this touched my heart.

Here is a video I found on YouTube of Olivia singing the title track:

Happy Birthday Daddy

~~ Jimmie Lee ~~
(seen here in his first grade photo)
born February 10, 1933

He came from nothing,
and he worked so hard.
He is the definition of a "self-made man."
No one told him he could succeed but himself,
and he proved that to himself over and over again.
His life is love expressed.
His strength amazes me.
Through thick and thin
he was there for me,
and still is, really.
You will never meet a kinder man
willing to help anyone in need.
His smile lights up the room,
and his sense of humor keeps us in stitches.
His warmth and spirit will be in me forever.

Happy Birthday Daddy.
From your little girl, Jayne Lynn.

I do, I have, I will

Eighteen years ago today...
We said we would.
We have.
We do.
Love, my friends, is a verb.

Anxiously awaiting

Something besides me anxiously awaiting the spring...

and all the different bugs meals it will bring.
I just love watching her (or him?) here on Chickadee!

Because I need the reminder...

This I know about myself: I take things others say and do and let them wound me. Then, I disengage, withdraw, and feel sad for way too long as I lick my wounds. I do not like this facet of my personality, yet am still finding it challenging to change it. When I was very overweight and the consummate doormat, fully consumed with the Disease to Please, I never felt justified in expressing disappointment. I always put myself last, then turned to food as my balm, my friend, and my comfort. I did not feel I deserved consideration, nor did I expect it. What mattered more was that everyone around me was happy. God forbid I disappoint anyone.

Once I faced that I was using food as my drug of choice, and was able to examine areas of my life where I fully relinquished my own external power to others, I was able to change the way I thought. I began to see that I had to put myself first and learn to nurture myself. I was able to change behaviors of not feeling worthy, give up food as my drug, and the weight fell off. I've kept it off for eight years now and it has changed who I am at my core. I was no longer willing to be the go-along-to-get-along girl. I was no longer willing to be the one to put forth all the effort in any of my relationships, and the minute I felt I was, I found myself just letting those relationships go. It was almost a knee-jerk visceral reaction to all those years of finding myself in that situation and accepting I was not worthy of more. Going to the other extreme, if you please. Taking things way too personally.

In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz lists this as his second agreement:
Don't Take Anything Personally.

"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world. Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds. "

"When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little because you have the need to be right and make everybody else wrong.

....Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. ...It is not what I am saying that is hurting you; it is that you have wounds that I touch by what I have said. You are hurting yourself."

"As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won't need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by careless comments or actions of others."

Sandhill Crane Family

(Image from Birders World)

I got this in an email from a friend.... so sweet!
-------------------

Subject: Sandhill Crane Family
These pictures were taken in the Suntree area of Florida ~Viera~ south of Cocoa and Titusville.

A Sandhill Crane couple recently had an exciting addition to their family. When they built their nest near the water's edge it immediately drew attention of passers by. Soon there were two eggs sitting on top of the nest and the mother on top of them.

The really curious passed by the site every morning and would stop their cars to get out and see if there were any new cranes yet. Many brought cameras of all shapes and sizes and would stand near the water for long periods of time hoping to catch a photo of the hatching.

Robert Grover, a dentist, didn't actually catch the birth, but did capture some fabulous shots of the mother, father, and baby (the second egg never hatched). Then he put together this slide show with music.

Click here: ROBERT GROVER PHOTOGRAPHY

Sleep... it's so underrated

I am one of those people who thinks that sleep is highly underrated. We all know we need to get enough sleep, and many of us try to get the recommended 8 hours each night. The reality is that most of us fail to get good quantity and quality sleep, no matter how good our intentions.

Especially as I've gotten older, my sleep regimen has become more and more important to me, and anything I can do to ensure I get good quality sleep vastly improves my quality of life. It is that important to me. I think so many people feel a low grade "ugh" a good bit of the time because they are sleep deprived or, the sleep they do get is not restful and restorative.

Back in November, I got hubby a N-A-P pillow (their smaller quick N-A-P model) from Brookstone for his birthday. Initially, he was sort of lukewarm about it, but once he started using it on the sofa behind his head, he was suddenly going on and on about how he'd love to have the larger sized one to sleep on at night.

Over the weekend, I made a trip over by the mall and went by Brookstone to pick him up a power N-A-P pillow. I even decided to get myself one to try since he was raving about it. While there, I also saw their Better Than Down Comforter and one touch was all I needed to know that I needed this on my bed! I brought the bounty home and put it all on the freshly washed bedding. I am not kidding when I say that for the past three nights, my sleeping is even more restorative than before, and I was sleeping pretty good. Sleep and N-A-P stuff... it's a beautiful thing.

Never say never

The banner says it all...
"We wanted it more."
What a game!
Congratulations to Eli and the Giants!
I don't think I remember enjoying a Super Bowl more!

Bluebird Cafe

The Mr. and Mrs. enjoying a Zick breakfast yesterday. :c)

Sneaking a bite

He's so fast when he comes, I am surprised this did not turn out as one big blur. When I refill the feeders now, I always put some of the Zick dough on top of the swing and it has been a big hit! So many different birds come to eat there. With a bit of dough smooshed on each side of the beam, many times, there is a waiting line of diners along the top of the swing. This white breasted nuthatch is very comfortable on this perch and was a frequent flyer yesterday afternoon.

What will come

In these last dreary weeks of winter,
we know one thing for sure...
This will come again.
And it will be beautiful.
And we will sigh with warmth
and contentment once again.